Men’s Health Week: A Different Post This Week
It’s Men’s Health Month. I’m not a Men’s Health Week ambassador, I’m not writing this for a magazine, and I’m definitely not chasing likes or smiley faces. I don’t want to sound preachy, but this is important. If you’re a guy, listen up. And if you’re not, tell someone you love to get their sh*t sorted.
The other day, a good mate sharp guy, level head told me he doesn’t even know the name of his GP. Not because he forgot. He’s just never gone. Just got on with it and hoped for the best. A lot of Kiwi men are in the same boat. And while this could apply to anyone, I’m speaking directly to the blokes because this one’s personal.
Growing up, my dad never went to the doctor not until it was too late. And me? Same story. I’d only go if I had a cold, and even then, I had to be properly sick. Push through, don’t complain, get on with it. That’s what I believed until COVID knocked me flat.
We tell ourselves we’re fine. That it’s not urgent. Not serious. Not a big deal. But those “not important” things? They actually are:
That check in with a counsellor you keep putting off
The cough that’s been hanging around a bit too long
Annual blood tests
Saying no to the drink you don’t really want
Stepping back from the job that’s draining you
Quietly admitting you’re not okay
They might seem small, but they’re not. They’re the start of getting better. They’re how we stay here properly here for the people who need us.
I know. I told myself the same things. “It’s not that bad.” “Just keep going.” “Other people have it worse.” Then COVID hit and it stuck. Turned into a long COVID. Suddenly I couldn’t walk to the letterbox without needing a rest. I was stuck on the couch watching Bondi Rescue on repeat. One day, my daughter looked at me and said, “Dad… are you okay?”
She’d asked before. But that time, it landed. I wasn’t okay. And I hadn’t been for a long time.At my lowest, I couldn’t see a way forward. I wasn’t even sure I wanted one. But eventually, I realised: it is important. Photos of me at the time prove I was sick.
Your health. Your head. Your heart. They matter. I needed more than my mates. I needed proper help. But the real shift came when I stopped pretending I didn’t. So if that’s you, here’s the message:
Looking after yourself matters. You don’t need to hit rock bottom. You don’t need to explain yourself. You don’t need permission. Your wellbeing matters because you do.
What helps will look different for everyone. For me, it’s swimming. Or going for a run. For you, it might be gardening, turning off your phone, having a decent meal, or talking to someone who gets it. This can be hard. The person you talk to who truly understands might not be your partner or your best mate. It might just be the GP, or even the guy at the pool who nods and says, ‘yeah, I hear you.’ For me it made a difference.
Whatever it is do more of it. I’m not here to lecture you. You already know what helps you reset. I’m not saying it has to be counselling or quitting your job or getting up at 5am just don’t ignore the signs. Do something. Anything that keeps you connected to life.
Not just when you’re in crisis. But because you matter.
We’ve been sold this idea that real men just get on with it. But maybe real strength is knowing when to stop. Maybe it’s saying, “I’m not doing great.”
Because the people who love you? They don’t want the burnout version. They want you. Alive. Present. Still here.
So stop brushing it off:
If there’s something you’ve been putting off a checkup, a conversation, even just catching your breath now’s the time. These aren’t luxuries. They’re how we stay grounded.
How we stay here. For the people who love us and for ourselves.