I used to think good leadership meant carrying it all every crisis, every deadline, every difficult conversation. That’s just what leaders do, right? We steady the ship, hold space for others, and keep everything moving.

But somewhere along the way, I stopped holding space for myself.

It didn’t happen suddenly. It was a slow dripanother meeting, another “urgent” email, another colleague knocking on my door with “just a quick one.” Eventually, I’d head home utterly, sentimentally, emotionally, spiritually.

And here’s the strange part: I still loved the work. I just couldn’t keep doing it this way.

That was my wake-up call realising that leadership wasn’t just about service; it was about sustainability. Because flourishing isn’t something we stumble into by accident. It’s built quietly through everyday practices that nurture us in the middle of ordinary days.

Two Simple Anchors to Start With

Before we get to micro-moments, here are two simple starting points that helped me regain my footing:

1. A Morning and Evening Ritual:
Before I dive into work, I take a moment to ground myself often by writing down one thing I’m looking forward to or setting a word for the day, like clarity or patience. At the end of the day, I jot down what went well. This small practice closes the day with reflection instead of fatigue.

2. A Weekly North Star:
Every Monday, I name a personal focus for the week, not a task, but a guiding value. It might be kindness under pressure or steadiness. This keeps me connected to how I want to lead not just what I need to do.

Micro-Moments Changed Everything

My biggest breakthrough didn’t happen in a workshop or retreat. It happened in my kitchen, waiting for the kettle to boil.

Instead of checking emails, I paused. I noticed the sound of the bubbling water and simply stood there. That five-minute moment became a spark.

I realised my day was full of these hidden spaces waiting for meetings to start, walking between tasks, sitting in the car before heading into school. I’d just been rushing through them.

Now, I use those micro-moments deliberately for a breath, a stretch, or a quiet check-in. These are small, repeatable habits that support wellbeing and flourishing offering calm, clarity, and connection.

Transitions Hold Power

I spent years bulldozing through transitions jumping from one meeting to the next, replying to emails mid-task, racing from one responsibility to another.

Now, I treat transitions as pause points. Before I open the next email or walk into the next meeting, I stop for one breath. I ask myself, What do I need right now?

That question resets me. It shifts me from reacting to responding.

This quiet, intentional pause helps me show up differently. In flourishing research, it’s called attentional shift choosing where we place our focus. It’s a practice that builds emotional resilience.

Leadership Itself Can Become Self-Care

One of the biggest shifts came when I stopped saying yes automatically. I became more mindful about where I invested my energy and who I spent time with.

At first, it felt uncomfortable, but I quickly realised that setting boundaries wasn’t selfishit was healthy modelling for others.

Even hard conversations started to feel different when I approached them as opportunities to practise calm, clarity, and honesty.

I stopped trying to absorb everyone else’s stress and instead focused on leading from a place of steadiness serving others without draining myself dry.

That’s the heart of flourishing leadership not just solving problems, but creating space for meaning and connection, starting with yourself.

The Shift That Changes Everything

Here’s the truth: self-care isn’t about finding extra time. It’s about seeing differently.

Stop asking, “When will I have time for myself?”
Start asking, “How can I care for myself at this very moment?”

The shift isn’t about doing more, it’s about noticing what’s already here. Ordinary moments when approached with intention become quiet acts of self-care that build sustainable leadership.

Try This:

Anchor your day with a morning and evening check-in.

Set a “North Star” value for the week.

Spot three micro-moments tomorrow pause and breathe.

Pause in daily transitions and ask, “What do I need right now?”

Reframe the question: How can I care for myself right now?

The paradox is simple: when you start to flourish in small, hidden moments, you create space for others to flourish too.

That isn’t selfish. That’s leadership.

PS: Check your environment, it may be a game changer. 

Looking forward to discussing leadership and well-being at NES 2025.